HumanOnEarth

I met one of my neighbors today. He is nice to talk to, young, chill.

Glad to have a friend in the building.

Made my day better.

I've been staring at the wall since 6pm, cant put words to the feelings yet, there's always lots of anger behind these moments, but also lots of relief after

took those pain meds for TM to calm down a bit

am craving hotdogs so bad

good night 😴

Dear,

i like how u dont reply. it makes it easy to talk knowing that u probably don't read them or care.

I have this bad habit of getting myself involved in situationships that end up hurting me quite a lot, but I am not capable of committing to anything, especially people, anyway, I wonder if there is anything good on the other side of my fears. I've been dealing with one of those since I came here, which kept me quite busy. It seems it's coming to an end. The thoughts of being alone are giving me anxiety, i feel like i might go insane, which again is stupid and extreme.

I don't have the energy to jump into another one of these meaningless relationships, might go back to playing piano to fill the time, anyway, enough late night thoughts, need some sleep, good night

feeling like shit. been throwing up all the stress in my toilet for the last 24 hours.

Made a cake to share with colleagues. The cake was super sweet and shitty.

It really triggered my anxiety, I felt angry, judged, I wanted to scream.

No one said anything, it's just me judging myself.

Then I gave it some thought.

The purpose of this is to practice baking and get some feedback.

The purpose is not to make people love me, accept me, or validate me.

deep breaths.

sometimes you just have to be selfish

Brown noise, the forest app & Notion are the best focus and productivity tools I came across so far.

feeling accomplished and proud of myself for how far I've come since I moved here.

Looking forward to buying a car.

I want to adopt a cat by the end of the year as well.

Hopeful

A girl at work asked me about the recipe for a cake I made a few days ago. Another guy that interviewed me before I joined asked me to get a coffee sometime. I love these little chats, they make work seem a little more healthy.

I did everything I was supposed to do. Woke up early, took a shower, went to the dr appointment, worked hard in the office, cleaned the house, called my parents, texted my friends, went to bed early. The perfect day.

Yet, I felt like an exhausted zombie, my back hurts, my hands get numb and tingly. I took some melatonin and ashwaganda to relieve the stress and get proper sleep.

Woke up 10 hours later, feeling better.

I want to try a classpass gym today, maybe a body pump class? I miss those a lot.

let's start the day.